Hey-o, it’s been a while.
I kept meaning to write, but then I’d force myself to forget.
I don’t expect much from people or life in general, but I did something unusual yesterday and I’m already paying the price.
I’m such a fool. Really, I’m such a fool.
Love and hope are such irrational, terrifying things. Having a crush isn’t a bad thing, as long as it doesn’t consume you. But what have I become? My own friend connects with them, and all i can do is laugh-cry like I’m no longer sane. At least they have good taste, my friend is awesome.
I’m such a fool, I’m such a fool, I’m such a fool.
Life already reeks with all of the police murdering people who look like me. I haven’t left my house in two days. Honestly, I’m only a bullet away from becoming a hashtag myself. I’ve finally saved up enough money to buy myself a car and now I’m too scared to drive. What a waste of money and time. If I had known, I’d have blown all my money traveling and doing what I want, since I’m probably going to become a hashtag anyway.
Of course, it’s not too late for that. I don’t even know if I’l make it to my next birthday, so why bother thinking about 10-20 years from now? What I mean is that, from now on, I’m not going to live and work like i’m planning my future in America. Instead of investing in a car, I’ll invest in a home in another country. Or maybe develop an artificial island where people like me can live in peace.
I’m tired of being tired, I’m tired of being scared, I’m tired of being sad, and I’m tired of being angry. I’m just tired. I haven’t even had a chance to really live yet and now I have to constantly deal with this crap.
I must travel soon. I’m afraid I won’t make it if I don’t, Luffy.