There’s been a lot of things crowding up my mind these past months, and I’m trapped. I had decided to leave this place before I actually leave so I began wrapping up my four years of connections to add to my brain’s library. It seemed like the most logical thing to do to avoid “the feels”, but, dammit, something happened and ruined everything. Now the shelves are broken and all the feels are scattered on the floor. And I’m locked in, standing in the middle of my horribly untidy library.
At first, I was annoyed. I couldn’t figure out what had caused my carefully organized mind to go off track.
Was it stress?
“Stress” is no longer part of my vocabulary after looking at the grand scheme of things. Life is short, and I want to minimize the amount of time I spend on things I don’t enjoy. I’ve got no time to do what I don’t want to do. #fudashi
Was it wanderlust?
Every time I want to leave the country , my bank account is just like “Nah, go back to sleep.” Whatever. Dreaming is free anyway, and I have superpowers. Who needs Delta Air Lines when your power level is over 9000?
Was it my decline of sanity?
Probably. But, it’s a little too early for me to be that senile.
Turns out it was a person. A mere human had entered my mind and messed with my head. What’s worse is that I was okay with it. And I was angry with myself for being okay with it. Though that didn’t stop me from cursing them under my breath whenever I saw them. How did our friendship evolve so much? When? Why?
I’m relieved I located the “problem”, but I am still trying to figure out the best way of diffusing it without any repercussions. Was it something I should even be diffusing? Friendship is something that I simply cannot take lightly. Especially when it grows from an unexpected place. This may be the person that lets me experience the friendship I thought I would never get to experience when I’m awake.
And the fact that it was so unexpected makes me slightly hopeful and optimistically content.
Maybe we’ll rise to Luffy’s friendship level someday.
Honestly, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.